November arrives with familiar questions. Where are we gathering? Who’s bringing what? How will we fit everything in?

As Thanksgiving approaches, we think about the people and experiences we appreciate. I’m also considering how I want to spend these final weeks of the year. Should I devote more time to finishing the projects that matter to me? How can I make room for meaningful connections as the calendar fills?

Both matter to me. I want to keep making progress, and I know how much friendships replenish my energy. When I slow down for a good conversation, a few laughs, or time with someone who inspires me, my cup fills. I return to my work with greater focus and less stress about everything I hope to finish.

In October, I invited you to get clear about what deserved more attention before the year ends. This month, let’s listen a little more closely to the answers.

What have you been trying to tell yourself that you haven’t made time to hear?

Perhaps you keep thinking about calling a friend. You miss a creative interest you once enjoyed. You feel ready to explore something new, but each time the thought surfaces, you tell yourself you’re too busy.

Those recurring thoughts deserve a moment of your attention.

Gratitude Can Make Room for Honesty

You may feel thankful for your family, your work, or the life you have built while also recognizing a desire for something different.

Sometimes we dismiss that desire before we understand it. “I should just be grateful,” we tell ourselves, and return to what everyone else needs.

Try giving both feelings room. You can appreciate the people you love and need time alone. You can value your responsibilities and want an interest that belongs to you. Being honest about your needs can help you make more thoughtful choices about how you spend your time and energy.

Three Questions to Help You Listen

Set aside ten quiet minutes before the holiday rush. Put your phone out of reach and consider:

1. What do I keep wishing I had more time or energy for? Notice the answer before deciding whether it is practical.
2. When have I felt most engaged, peaceful, or like myself lately? What about that experience mattered to you?
3. If I gave my own needs a place alongside everyone else’s, what would I ask for this month? Be specific about the time, connection, rest, or support you want.

Let your answers be honest, even if they surprise you.

Listen for What Is Beneath the First Answer

Read through your reflections and choose one wish that stands out. Then ask:

“What would having this give me?”

“I want a weekend away” might reveal a need for uninterrupted rest. “I miss taking classes” might point to a desire for learning, challenge, or connection.

Stay curious. Only you can determine what your answer means.

Complete this sentence:

“I’m grateful for ______, and I’m also noticing that I need ______.”

For example:

“I’m grateful for time with my family, and I’m also noticing that I need a quiet morning each week to recharge.”

Naming both can help you see how they might fit together.

Bring Yourself into the Season

As you make plans this November, return to what you heard. Could you leave an afternoon open, ask someone to share a responsibility, or make time for a conversation you have been missing?

For me, that means making room for friendships alongside my projects and remembering how much those connections help me bring fresh energy to my work.

Listening becomes useful when it influences a choice, however small.

This Thanksgiving season, I hope you enjoy the people and traditions that matter to you. I also hope you give yourself enough quiet to hear what you need.

What are one or two needs you’re ready to give your attention to this month?